xmas 2005


Oh dear lord, it's been a while!! Ah shucks kids, my sister strong armed me into getting back into the blog business. She claimed she was sick and tired of looking at that blonde bitch with the black mustache. To my defense- I have been busy with various secret government projects and what not. But, I'm happy to report that I received a new digital camera for xmas and I swear to Jimminy Cricket that I'm really gonna try to keep you people entertained with my magical little hair nests!


This year instead of participating in the mass slaughter of innocent conifers and their close cousins, I decided to order one of those delightfully tacky tinsel trees. I looked high and low on line until I found the perfect one! I excitedly placed my order for a beautifully bouyant and gleeful three foot pink tinsel tree. I even paid extra for two day shipping. Well, a week and a half later the U.P.S. guy drops off this mamed little brown card board box that looked like it held the wing of a 10" paper air plane. Those on line bastards mistakenly sent me the scrapyard dog/elfin version of a pink tinsel tree!! Plus- they forgot to send the tree stand! So my clever boyfriend, Mark...I mean fiance'(still Mark) stuck it in a wine bottle with a matching pink label. Then I went to town on the thing with my glue gun and some fluffy pink feathers...and alas-she was transformed into a spritely lookin' little pink tree named Teeny!


Well...that's it for now...I hope you all had a lovely holiday and I assure you that I'll be back tomorrow with more nestly goods.


p.s. Mark saw a bumper sticker yesterday that read " I heart(symbol) to fart"

get it...I love to fart??? Dang- I should have invented that bumper sticker!!!

peace
xxoo amy

Hi kids. Sorry i haven't had any new posts for you lately. I was feeling a little sicky there for a few days, plus i've been busy writing my memoirs for the Biography Channel. Can you believe it??


Yeh, I can't either.

See you soon!
xxoo amy

November 10, 2005






















Excerpted from Rolling Stone magazine-November, 2005 issue
(in review)
"Word: The Natural Born Allstars is quite possibly the best new band to come a long since Nirvana. But don't even think of comparing their sound to the ground breaking band that set the Grunge movement in motion. The Natural Born Allstars have set out to define a totally new musical genre they're calling Rustic Labiatic Fusion.

It's an intoxicating blend of spoken word(featuring positive affirmations, painfully honest and revealing excerpts from an anonymous persons diary and some hysterical fart & poop sampling) as well as some amazing solos on the Jews harp, incredible drumming(done mostly on a formica kitchen table top), and out of this world guitar riffs by the only real musician in the band who also happens to be a psychologist. A must have for any music aficionado! 4 blazing stars for the Natural Born Allstars!

November 9, 2005

Truth be told: the batteries are dead in our camera, and I'm not sure when we will get around to replacing them...and so...
Today we'd like to introduce the viewing audience to Deepak Chopra and his overbearing & abusive mother, Chutney Chopra.


Few people know the true origins of the beloved, best selling author, Deepak Chopra. Because, to this day- Deepak Chopra is a momma's boy. Yes, sir-ee-bob...little baby Deepak wants to protect his miserable mommy from her impending karmic doom. Deepak Darling: you should know better...Karma escapes no one. Karma will hunt you down like a bloodhound and force you to ante up. The good news is that once you do put your chips in (so to speak) you're on the road to enlightenment!

So you see people...when it's all said and done, it really does help if you come from a dysfunctional family dynamic, or have suffered some kind of horrific abuse at the hand of another, because quite frankly- "You're on the fast track to financial freedom!"

...and now a word from the founder and C.E.O. of Planet Hair Nest...

Dear Reader: If you've come to P.H.N. expecting to find thought provoking, tasteful and politically correct commentary about hair nests, you've come to the wrong place. We here at Nest Headquarters believe that as a country it's high time we put aside the creatively stifling P.C. agenda and go back to making fun of everyone and everything- starting first with ourselves(...and then our best friends-thanks Carrots!!)

November 8, 2005





Remember to cast your vote today!!

vaccuous voting tip: look for the candidate with the brightest smile and the whitest teeth.


I'm voting for this guy- he's HOT...and I just love a politician with an accent!!

xxoo amy

November 7, 2005

(As Channelled through the WigMaster)

The young Buddah incarnate known as one, Farting Crane brings this message to you today as a gentle reminder to listen to the song stirring in your heart. Hey, that rhymes with FART!! Wow, that's wicked cool...any how, back to Farting Crane's message:
Hello?? Farting Crane are you still there? Oh dear...I think I blocked the process when I used the word Fart.

Hmm...Well, okay then...what I believe Farting Crane is trying to say to us is wake up man, the coffee's brewing and there's bills to be paid, so get your arse out of bed and get to work!!

Wait a minute, he's back...no...I had it all wrong...sorry. Farting Crane's message is one of Awakening. That's all I'm getting from him now.
Namaste
The WigMaster

November 6, 2005

Oh my Gawd...my hair came out amazing today!!!! Wow. I have no idea what happened last night while I was sleeping, but judging by the way my hair looks, We(my subsuperconscious and my magical hair) kicked some serious ass last night!! Let's hear it for HAIRNEST POWER- WOO WOO!!!!! peace out... amy xxoo

November 5, 2005

Today's Focus: Coifed Hairdos- and their ability to make or break a person

Hector, Hairdresser to the Stars
On top is a publicity photo of Hector and one of the stars from the 70's cult classic movie, Planet of the Apes. Not quite sure what the point of this picture is..oh yeah, I remember now. Doesn't it seem like Hector's trying a little too hard to look like Warren Beatty in the movie Shampoo? And look at how he's manhandling that ape woman with his Goody brand barbers' comb? Who does he think he is?? Hector, Hairdresser to the Stars...that's who.


And on the bottom is a campaign photo from the widely publicized trial of 1987, Lori Hawke VS. The Barbizon School of Modeling. Although Hawke ultimately lost the suit, she was heralded by advocacy groups throughout the country as a champion for teenage girls' in their plight for claiming their personal identity through her unflinching willlingness to show herself modeling really bad hairdos in an effort to dissuade impressionable young girls from entering into the vaccuous and soulsucking world of modeling.

You're a winner in my eyes Lori...kuddos to you, kiddo!

xxoo amy

November 4, 2005


Todays Special:
Dogs Hair Nest Pie
It's the most dee-licious hair pie you've ever tasted!!

Last night my boyfriend Mark pulled the television away from the wall to hook up the VCR so I could hold him hostage for hours watching old videos of me and my friends doing skits and this is the mound he found. Quite impressive, I'd say. It took four dogs ONE DAY to generate all that hair!! Can you imagine?? Fortunately for me, I find sweeping to be quite therapeutic. Have a wonderful day folks!!
xxoo amy

November 3, 2005

Today on P.H.N. we'd like to feature the cover art from
our dear friend, Karis Wiggins' just released CD entitled
Karis Wiggins Songs from the Sea


Dear Lord, does that womans talent never end???
I'll tell you what - that song "Before there were
cell phones there were sea shells" is a real
chart topper! It's one of those songs that you just can't
seem to get out of your head, but not because it's bad...
or annoying...or trite, but because it's just so darn goooooood.

Anyway, my hair came out like crap today people. No poof.
No puff. I just couldn't make the nest happen.
Frankly, I think it's a nice break from the monotony of hair
nests. I mean, seriously, what's the shelf life of that gig?
xxoo amy

November 2, 2005

Say Happy Birthday to my Dad, Jim Morrissey, he's 78 today!!

November 1, 2005
Perhaps all is not lost after all. I think posing alongside our double wide made all the difference in the world, why it looks like a cyclone blew through our trailer park last night!!
Planet HairNest LIVES!!!!!!!!

October 31, 2005

Grettings Ya'll. Oh dear- I think I ruined Planet HairNest by getting my hair cut. I thought getting myself a sassy new hairdo would demonstrate my ability to embrace change and be a flexible person in the world, as well as a stylish one. How wrong I was. Look at that...there's no nesting capability in that cropped mop! Please forgive me, for I knew not what I was doing!!
Regretfully yours,
Amy

October 29, 2005

Remember the tv show from the seventies called Kung Fu starring one of the Carradine boys? Well, for a Halloween party this year my boyfriend was the Carradine character, the beloved Grasshopper, and i was the blind Master Po.
As always...Enjoy it!!
xxoo amy

October 28, 2005
Sorry kids, no hair nest photo available today. However, I've included a nice picture of a baby in a lions' mouth....enjoy xxoo amy

October 27, 2005
Greetings fair friends. Due to the snide transgendered remark I received in yesterdays' comment section from one, Farting Crane, I decided to go au'natural. I have a comment for Mr. Farting Crane-Maybe I was trying to look like a drag queen...yeh, did you ever consider that??!! So, you see I succeeded! I'm victorious yet again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone except Farting Crane: please have a delightful day!
p.s. I think my hair came out pretty good today- all fluffy and what not.
xxoo amy

October 26, 2005
Well I tried Tubby's makeup suggestions...............whadayathink????? I'm going to keep the commentary short and sweet and let the pictures speak for themselves today. xxoo amy

October 25, 2005
Well, hello there every one! In today's Planet Hair Nest I'd like you all to pay particular attention to my improved posture. Whaddayathink? I think it's markedly better. Holy crap though people, I'm feeling like it might be nicer for everyone if I try some of those make up tips that Tubby the House Cat suggested in yesterdays' photoshoot. I mean maybe just a little foundation to even out the skin tone and some concealer to hide the blemishes and dark circles under the eyes.
Seriously: to what length should I suspend my vanity for this blog??

p.s. I'd like to thank my boyfriend, Mark for taking his pink slip seriously and returning to work on time today- GREAT JOB HONEY!!
bye bye for now!
xxoo amy

Oct. 24, 2005

Today Tubby the house cat helped me with my Planet Hair Nest photo session. He had some really amazing suggestions for how to adjust the lighting during photo shoots to make it more flattering for my skin tone and hair color, as well as some really great tips on makeup application. UBER PROPS TO TUBBY!!
until tomorrow..xxoo amy p.s. share your thoughts about P.H.N. with me by sending me an email at this address:(not a link!!) amylouhoo@gmail.com Question??? should i be embarrassed by these photographs? Because, for some reason- I'm not...and frankly, that scares me a bit.

October 23, 2005

My hair nest photographer over slept and missed the shoot this morning, therefore the top notch quality you've grown accustomed to enjoying on Planet Hair is severely compromised today. But, don't worry. He received a pink slip at lunch time and I think he got the message.

I'd like to add that I do believe that Teetsie Roy fella was onto something with the comment about my overused doll head...frankly, she's lookin' like she's ready to be popped off, I mean really- how much more hard rubbing can my little ole' noggin take???????

Well people...we'll soon find out, won't we? YES WE WILL!!

xxoo bye bye for now.........Amy
p.s. who are you Teetsie Roy???????

kids...I just gotta tell ya something.


I don't know how the freak to format the pictures and the text in this darn blog- they won't give me the control I need at Blog Central. I put a picture here and it ends up...










There.



That's very frustrating to the perfectionist in me. So, please just bare that in mind. Also, I'm aware that some of the captions on the pictures are illegible- I'll work on that in tomorrow's post. Now I really do need to get some other things accomplished in my day besides spreading joy, laughter, and ridicularity through out the land.


xxoo amy

Good Morning Class.

Well, it didn't come out quite as good as I thought it would. Apparently I didn't "toss & turn" enough last night. I like the comment some one made about my hair nest looking like a dolls' head that was rubbed too hard(or something like that) and they thought I could just "pop it off and put a new one on". Interesting concept.

I would like to thank you all for visiting Planet Hair Nest. Please come back soon!!
xxoo Amy