Hey- look what my hair did!


Ride the wave Moon doggy!!

Or is it ribbon candy??

You decide.

I was recently interviewed by
Gross Magazine

Interviewer: Amy, we've all seen how disturbed your hair gets while you sleep- which is truly amazing. I'm curious about your hairs' process. It seems like you would have to go through a lot to get your hair to look like that. So tell us- how do you get your hair to look so gross?

Amy: Wow- that's a really interesting question! Well, I have a few different methods that I've developed over the years. But, honestly- I have to say that it all comes down to the ingredients. You absolutely can not skimp on quality when it comes to ingredients. You can spend years(and believe me, I know people who have done this)developing certain methodologies and techniques- and that's all well and good- but then when it comes time to add the ingredients- they cheap out(okay...maybe it's because their funding dried up which is happening more and more)but, ultimately what they're left with is an inferior product that no one wants.

Interviewer: Would you mind sharing with us what some of your favorite ingredients are?

Amy: Sure. Well, for my hair type- which is very fine- I would have to say that my favorite ingredients are lard and talcum powder.

Interviewer: Really!!

Amy: Yeah. Really.

Interviewer: The next obvious question would be why??

Amy: The lard gives it work-a-bility and pliancy, as well as a very off-putting odor...and the talcum powder gives it a nice pastey texture and it also covers up the hairs' natural lustre. You put the two together and you have a winning combination of grossness.

Interviewer: You mentioned before using quality ingredients, so what brand of lard and talcum powder do you prefer?

Amy: Actually, I'm not allowed to give that information away due to my pending book contract. But, all that information and more will be available to every one once my book is published...which looks now like it will be mid-summer of 2006.


Interviewer: Wow- congratulations!! That's very exciting and something for our Gross readers to look forward to. Amy, I'd like to thank you for taking time today to talk to us about your gross hair.


Amy: You're very welcome!

I wanna know why nobody noticed(back in october when this photo was first posted)that I have a squirrel tail growing out of my ass region??? How in God's name could you not notice that??


WAKE UP PEOPLE...WAKE UP!


p.s. i think my nests were nestier when my hair was longer

my, what a lovely set of peepers you have there mam...or is it sir?

A warm welcome to our Featured Guest Nest:

Brian...a.k.a. Britch...also known as Briathy

you may be asking yourself why this man known as Brian/Britch/Briathy has stopped using his Grecian formula? Well, he normally displays a beautiful silvery head full of hair- one of the best salt and pepper manes I've ever seen. But this past Halloween he dyed his hair brown so that he could do a poor imitation of a female friend of ours named Kathy(see picture with hat and wine). To her defense, and Brian's shame- he looked nothing like her- it was a very wrong characterization- but funny because he wound up so far off the mark. So Brian-Britch-Briathy has been going through an arduous process of growing out the brown. Britch dahling: I think you're just about ready for a buzz cut, wouldn't you say dear?!!
Thank you Brian for your fabulous HairNest contribution!!
xxoo amy

INTRODUCING THE BEAUTY-BRA BONNET


Keep those pesky little hair nests hidden away with the Incredible new Beauty-Bra Bonnet brought to you by theVulvatic Corporation.

"It's a Bra...no wait- it's a Bonnet...no- it's a Bra...who cares what it is- it's FABULOUS!!
Barbie hair cascade of curls not included. Batteries and accessories sold seperately.

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!


p.s. my hair has come out like crap the past two nights- no poof or puff- just greasy and gross looking. Apparently i haven't tossed and turned enough in my sleep- which is good news for me because it means i slept well- but bad news for nest watchers. Hey- it's all about the balance baby!

xxoo amy

Just in case you didn't know...

How to tell if a HairNest is
Natural or Fraudulent:

First and foremost-consider the source.
Is the person donning the Nest trustworthy?
Do they have a kindly look about them?
Do you enjoy the fragrance they are emitting from their magnetic anal-evangelical-auric field of esoterica?

Next-ask your self this simple, yet profound question:

"Am I really the person I claim to be in printed and televised advertisements?"
Your honest answer to this age old question will determine your next course of action.

COURSES OF ACTION
CHOICE A.) Ask the person in question if you can fondle it(the nest) ever so gently.
OR
CHOICE B.) Flee screaming (as loud as you possibly can)
"FRAUDULENT NEST ALERT- FRAUDULENT NEST ALERT...RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!"


I hope this information has been helpful.

With pure and natural nestly love,
xxoo amy

Honk if you love to fart!!

NEW YEARS DAY 2006

Happy New Year to all you Nest-a-teers!

Whaddaya say we usher in the new year with someone who is relatively new to Planet Earth? Good people of Planet HairNest: I give you my nephew, Lake. May he long uphold the tenants of the HairNest and hence(and hither-to-fore) enjoy a rich and happy life filled with multitudes of magic and HairNest power !!

SALUTE!!